Day 13....magic words hurt my head

Tonight was my presentation to half of my school.  Describing my work to this point, where I want to go and what I want to achieve in the next two years.  As with anything, criticism is a must.  Constant feedback only allows you to grow more.  I feel as if that half hour not only made think and reconsider some of my actions as an artist, but as a person in general.  Why?  What?  How?  are consistently questions we are trained to ask ourselves, but what if you don't have answers?  Why color?  Why painting?  These answers I do not know.   That was an extremely awesome realization.  Depth over rides breadth sometimes, and this is one of those occasions.  I have never "allowed" myself to go deep and search for the answers, I look to the surface for explanation.  My goal with this journey over the next few months was to research pigments and tell there story, but I feel as if I need to research myself and tell my story, for the first time.